Wish I could stop worrying.

I can't even begin to explain how worried I am. After having had two miscarriages, my mind almost won't accept that this time it might work out OK. after the scan, I felt massively reassured, it was so good to see my babies heart, it made me feel properly excited for the first time, and now that feeling has faded, and all I have is the nagging worry that I might also loose this baby. I sneeze and feel the muscles of my stomach clench, and I worry that its hurt the baby, no matter how awful morning sickness feels, it feels worse if it lessens for a while because then I start to worry that it might be an indication of the start of the miscarriage. Every time I go to the toilet I have a second of panic thinking I'm going to see blood. I'm both looking forward to, and dreading the dating scan that I'll have at about 12 weeks, because it was that scan that told me last time that my baby had died, but I desperately want to see my babies heart beat if everything's OK...I just want everything to be OK. Millions of women go through this every day, they have healthy pregnancies and perfect babies, I just want to be one of those women.