I am Tabitha's favorite person in the whole world. which sounds like a boast...but actually is pretty much just a fact. I'm the stay at home mum who wakes up with her every morning for cuddles, I read her stories every night. we go to the park and splash in puddles and chase balls, I take her swimming, I am willing to make a mess in the kitchen to do some painting and sticking, I have baths and showers with her. and I've breast fed her, which gave me a massive advantage in terms of bonding from her birth.
This isn't necessarily a good thing. I do NOT want to loose the close bond we have by any stretch...but it does cause some problems.
the biggest problem is that it hurts Coyotes feelings, when she automatically goes to me for hugs, when I get kisses goodnight but not him, when she literally tells him to go away... its not her fault, and its not his fault. but being occasionally rejected by your own daughter has got to sting.
its also problematic because I am the only person that she lets carry her, I'm the only one that can comfort her if she wakes in the night. its much harder for me to get time to myself and get a chance to sleep through the night than it is for Coyote. which becomes a real problem when I'm ill or want to go out by myself.
we are slowly trying to readdress the balance in this. Coyote has started comforting her in the night if she wakes up half the time, and I do still go out by myself or with my mum or friends so that they do get a chance to spend some daddy daughter time together. Coyote also does the pick up from nursery most days, and he says that the moment when she spots him and yells "DADDY!!!!" before throwing herself at him and then holds his hand tight all the way home is the highlight of his day.
but its a slow process.
I keep hoping that one day the tides will turn and suddenly daddy will be her favouritest person in the whole wide world, and I'll be boring old mummy. It would make Coyote so so happy to have that feeling. the feeling that I have now.
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