We finally told Coyote's son about the baby, this was the first time we've seen him since the big 20 week scan, and we did want to wait to see if everything was OK before telling him. He seemed to take it really well, not super excited or anything (but he is a 14 year old boy, he mainly gets excited about killing things in computer games) but he seemed happy for us, and happy to be a big brother. I also told Hermione (my ex's daughter, see previous posts about who she is and the complications that my life throws up) I sent her a card telling her, which was a cop-out I know, but I have no idea when I'm next going to see her, and I didn't want it to be her finding out about baby in April when she turns up. For both of them we kept a strong emphasis on how they would be a big brother/sister and how we were looking forward to them being there for the baby and being involved. Which I thought was better than the emphasis being on 'we're having a baby and your just going to have to put up with it'. I talked to Hermione on the phone after she got the card and she seemed fairly happy about it, which I was glad about. I was expecting her to be more upset because she still wants me and her dad to be together. Coyote's ex (who is a massive horrible toad of a woman) also now knows about the baby, and managed to take it only a large dollop of bitchiness rather than the huge avalanche of nastiness that we were both expecting.
I can't believe how big baby is getting now! I read online that baby is weighs a whole of a pound! It seems like only yesterday that baby was a 2mm dot on a scan with a tiny fluttering heartbeat! I can also tell that baby is getting bigger for where she is kicking, now she's kicking as high up as my belly button!
The weirdest sensation in the world is being kicked in the bladder. You know that sensation when you need to pee so badly it hurts? it's like that, but a concentrated 2 second dose of it! It's also nice that I'm starting to see patterns in when baby kicks, baby especially kicks a lot in the evenings when I'm cuddled up in bed with Coyote reading him bed time story with his hand on baby, which is lovely, it really feels like family time. Baby also seems to kick more at loud noises, we went to the cinema to see the new James Bond movie Skyfall (it's very good by the way) and baby kicked like crazy all the way through with the explosions and gun fights, I'm taking this as baby being excited rather than scared. Baby also kicks a lot when I'm playing Fallout 3, which has a very bouncy musical soundtrack which baby seems to appreciate by wiggling and kicking.
Apparently some mother start lactating now, which I haven't yet. I have to admit it's one of the things that I worry about, that I won't be able to breastfeed even if I want to. What happens if my body just doesn't start making milk? It makes me worry.
I also keep dreaming that I go out and get drunk, and then once I've drunk a lot of alcohol I remember that I'm pregnant, at which point I generally wake up feeling horribly horribly guilty. My midwife keeps on asking me if I've been drinking, if she could see how badly I feel just dreaming about drinking I think she'd relax a lot more.
I still need to start swimming again, the fitter and stronger I get the easier I will find birth. My problem is that I really can't cope with going swimming on my own, and Coyote keeps on avoiding going and I don't know anyone else who wants to go with me!
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