Why we're not having any more babies.

Nearly 7 months

I want lots of babies. I really do. I'd love to have another 2 children, a couple years apart in age. it would be wonderful. I love being a mum, it's always been my dream to be a mum and have a big family...

but when we had Tabitha we were forced to have a conversation about having more babies in the future, and to some extent, I had to come down to earth with a bump.

1. I have mental health problems. I'm not going to magically get better. I'm coping really well with one baby. Trying to cope with a small baby and a toddler...? might be too much for me to take.
2. I didn't get post natal depression this time round. Next time I might not be so lucky.
3. Coyote is 40 years old. He'll be 58 by the time Tabitha is heading to university. if we wait a couple of years and have another one, he'll be older and tireder and won't want to cope with a small baby again, it wouldn't be fair on either of them.
4. Not enough bedrooms. Next year we should be able to buy a house of our own! but we its very very very unlikely that we'll be able to afford a three bedroom house. And I don't want Tabitha to have to share a bedroom when she is growing up.
5. Money. Things are tight with the three of us. we can cope, but it's tight. Add another baby and things will go from tight to impossible.
6. Why mess with perfection? Tabitha is a happy, healthy, smiling little girl. who sleeps through the night and barely cries. If we try again, we might not be so lucky. We could get a colic baby from hell who keeps us all up all night, refuses to eat and won't stop crying. We should quit while we are ahead.

This does make me very sad. I would love to have my dream of a big family. But I'd also love to win the lottery and have Johnny Depp ask me on a date. Wanting it doesn't mean its going to happen, or that it would even be good if it did happen. And so Tabitha will have to make do with a crazy half brother, and a fairy god sister. and I will have to learn to be content with what I have.