Saturday, 6 October 2012

I'm actually growing someone inside me?

week 13, day 5

Right now I'm feeling a bit of a weird sense of unreality about this whole pregnancy thing. My morning sickness is starting to abate, my chest is slightly less uncomfortable and I've had a couple of months for the other changes in my body to become pretty routine, I've got used to the lack of caffeine alcohol and cigarettes and the massive initial rush of "Oh my god I'm pregnant!!!" has died down a bit.
and now I'm left thinking, I'm growing a person inside me? seriously? that doesn't sound likely. These boobs are going to make milk? really? nah...not possible.
I'm just me, going about my normal life, doing normal things. In my head I'm not so different from the girl I was when I was 18, the person I was when I was 12...it doesn't seem possible that I'm going to become someones mum. I've not changed so much, but now I'm this mythic pregnant lady. I have a person inside me that has arms and legs and a brain and vocal cords, that's even now building their own mind and personality, that can hear my voice and tell when I'm upset and happy...it's a very weird thought. It all seems somewhat unreal. In 6 months I'm going to be giving birth (touch wood) and then I'm going to have the most important person in my life in my arms...but I've not met them yet, I don't even know if its a boy or a girl (though for the record, I think I'm having a boy)...it's just...its weird. and all slightly unreal. I think if I found out that this whole thing was a massive practical joke, and actually babies do come from storks, I wouldn't be that surprised, it would be about as plausible as me building a person inside me that's half me and half Coyote that came from an act that seems to have nothing to do with children at all.
Or maybe I just think too much.

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