Completely and totally off topic...

week 14, day 2

This has nothing to do with babies or pregnancy, its just me and Coyote watch a lot of horror films, and we've been developing a list of rules to follow to help survive in case we ever find ourselves in a horror movie and I think we're funny...lets call this a special Halloween installment...weeks early...blame it on pregnancy hormones?

1. Never go to a place called 'Silent Hill'
2. If there is a place where people go to and never return...don't go there.
3. Any 'scenic shortcuts' through isolated areas that aren't marked on a map are to be avoided.
4. If creepy old men/women/taxi drivers give you advice, listen to it.
5. Never stay in Houses/cabins/hotels that can be cut off from civilization by rising water/falling snow/conveniently felled tree's. 
6. Aliens are Never friendly.
7. If there is a mass murderer free in town...leave town.
8. If there is an intruder in your house, don't search the dark basement, leave the house, in fact, leave the house while calling the police.
9. Use head shots and always assume they are still alive (this works for serial killers as well as zombies)
10. Puzzle boxes/ancient holy relics/books bound in skin do Not look good on the mantelpiece.
11. Creepy toys received in the post go straight in the fire.
12. If you are being extorted, don't resist, just pay them.
13. If you are an orphan never Ever go to find your birth parents.
14. Never genetically engineer super intelligent sharks/raptors/anything that will attempt to eat you at the first possible opportunity, stick to herbivores.
15. The government getting involved never helps anything, especially if aliens or super viruses are present.
16. Catacombs/crypts/graveyards are Not places to hold parties.
17. Don't embark on quests of revenge, its just not worth it.
18. If it seems to good to be true. It is.
19. Remember if you die you can't spend money, so don't let your greed get the best of you.
20. If people are insisting that ghosts/demons/witches are involved, it is not the time to become cynical, its time to be extra extra careful.

OK, OK, some pregnancy stuff now, my hips and thighs are killing me when I have to walk a distance, I'm starting to carry weight differently and apparently all my tendons and joints are relaxing to start getting my body prepared for having baby, which makes everything really sore.