It's all getting closer and closer! as of last week if baby had turned up, she wouldn't be considered premature. Baby is now big enough to come out and be fine! Which is amazing, at some points in this pregnancy I never thought I would get here. But here we are, two weeks till due date, and everything is still as it should be, my blood pressure is normal, no swelling, no protein in my urine, baby wiggling away...all normal!
Maybe I should be getting nervous about the birth at this point, but actually I'm really not. I'm very excited to see baby, but I'm not scared about the birth itself. The way I'm thinking about this is it's like being on a roller-coaster, your strapped in, and you can't get off again, and your looking at that first massive hill and you feel like "holy s**t! why did I decide to do this! I want to get off again!" but you can't get off, and actually, it won't be that bad once your whooshing down the hill, and soon it will be all over. The only thing you can do is cling on and remember that it will all be over soon, and even though it may feel scary, it will all be OK, and you might even enjoy it. So I'm just waiting for the roller-coaster to start the long climb up the hill! (Coyote on the other hand is really really nervous. Which I don't understand, I'm the one who is going to be giving birth, not him!).
Part of why I'm also not feeling too nervous is that I deal pretty well with pain, I've got a lot of piercings and tattoo's and I've just coped with it, and in fact kind of enjoyed it occasionally, or at least enjoyed the endorphin rush you get after it. I also know that the whole concept of 'pain threshold' is actually a myth, everyone feels pain in very much the same way, the only difference is in your perceptions of the pain, the more scared of pain you are, the worse you think it is, whereas if you have the attitude of 'meh, it's just pain, I can cope' the better you handle being in pain. So I'm going to keep thinking positively, and keep the perspective of 'it will be fine and I will cope' and not let it scare me!...though of course I might be completely underestimating how much it will hurt, and may be begging for some pethidine before I'm even in established labor!
I've been feeling baby slowly dropping down into place...actually, it feels like she's not so much slowly moving down, as occasionally jerking down...its a very very weird sensation, and one I'm not sure I can describe, because it's not exactly painful (apart from occasionally, when I've been getting quite a sharp stabbing pain, which is apparently babies head pinching nerves as it moves again my bony pelvis) but it is sudden and unexpected occasionally when I stand up...and it feels like...well...it feels like baby moving downwards. Which I appreciate is a really unhelpful description. Before you've felt it you don't know what it will be like, and once you've felt it you realize that it couldn't be any other way.
I also think I've been feeling some Braxton hicks contractions, which are sort of practice contractions that your body does getting ready for birth...at least I think I've had them... they are like period cramps, low down and achy and coming in waves, though not lasting very long, or being that painful...they could in fact be something very different. I was told by the midwife that if I can talk through them, then they are not contractions.
Our upstairs room is also very very nearly done, we have the kitchen put in, the floor laid down, all the painting is done, the gas heater has been checked and fitted and the skirting board is done. There is very little left to do before I can move upstairs!
Baby could come literally any day now, but she has been given strict instructions by me and Coyote that she is not allowed to turn up before the snow is gone! (a couple of days ago, out of no where, the heavens opened and a blizzard came down, we have snow drifts up to my knees in our garden, it's crazy!) Because I do not want to have to deal with a foot of snow and a new born baby! I want it to be sunny when little one arrives.
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