Best things

4 months and a bit (it's change over time!)

We've just had Tabitha's naming day, and it was absolutely lovely. I was really nervous about the weather and the ceremony bit and all my family being there and if there would be enough food and drink and...OK I was scared about pretty much everything. but it all went really well, the first 30 minutes it rained and i panicked, but then the blue skies came and after that it all went really well, the ceremony was what i wanted it to be, short and sweet and from the heart. I thanked everyone for coming and for being there for me over the last 4 months (which have been the best months of my life) and we had 30 second silence to think about all the people we wish were there but aren't with us any more, and we asked the god parents (my little brother and sister and Coyote's best man) to say a wish for Tabitha and a promise to Tabitha, and me and Coyote did as well. it was really touching. we then had a book so that everyone could add their own wishes and promises (which at some point I will write up here). But it was a really lovely day.

The best things about being a mum:

1. Cuddles any time you want!
2. Random people being nice to you because they want to say hello to the baby
3. presents! technically they are for Tabitha, but opening presents make me happy.
4. watching Tabitha grow and learn every day (she can now look at an object and grab it, and is getting really good at sitting)
5. getting to dress Tabitha in lovely little outfits (i feel guilty about enjoying this so much)
6. i always have someone to talk to and play with.
7. it makes you closer to your family (at least it has with me)
8. babies are so damn cute! everything they do is cute and it just gets cuter.
9. babies giggling is the best sound ever!
10. rediscovering books i used to love when i was little.
11. I don't hate myself any more as much, because I'm a mum now. I have a point to my life.
12. Its a lot harder to be depressed because I have a baby who needs me.
13. Tabitha will always love me, and I have to make sure I am good enough for her.
14. I've spent years looking after other people's children, and loving them, but knowing (rightly) that I come 2nd to their mum. Now I'm the mum and Tabitha loves me best.
15. as a nursery nurse people kept on telling me that kids were great as long as you could give them back, I always disagreed, the best thing about being Tabitha's mum is that I don't have to give her back to anyone (secretly, I kind of dislike letting anyone else hold her, though I'm trying to get over that).
16. babies toys are still fun to play with.

(Look at her sitting up! clever Tabitha!)