Growing up

5 months.

I do not want Tabitha to grow up. she's already developing and growing so quickly, with a hand to hold onto she can stand up, next month we'll be starting her on solid food and she can sit pretty much on her own now!

she's so sweet and lovely now, i don't want her to change.

i know that i will always love her and that as she gets older i'll find her amazing and adorable for different reasons. but this is such a lovely age, and it already feels a life time ago that she was born. i can't believe how much she's grown in just 5 months. she's nearly too big for her Moses basket! she was never a really tiny baby, but now she's so much bigger.

i don't want her to grow up because i don't want her to have to go through some of the things that i did...like school. School for me was miserable, i was teased and bullied the entire time, years of my life feeling soul crushingly, grindingly lonely, having to guard my every word and action in case it could be used against me, being spat on, having even my so called friends tell me to kill myself...i don't want Tabitha to ever have to go through that. I don't want her to have to grow up, its horrible being an adult. I want her to stay the age where mummies kisses and hugs fix everything.

and yet i will continue to do everything in my power to make sure she learns and grows and gets independence...but a little bit of me will miss this so much when she grows to be the amazing adult i'm sure she'll be.