100 posts!

15 months

i have now done 100 posts! its been nearly 2 years since i got pregnant. there have been highs and lows. but its still been the best couple of years of my life.

Best moments.

• seeing that first little flicker of light on the scan. that heartbeat that meant my baby was alive!
• feeling her move for the first time! my strange little poking creature.
• hearing her inside me. listening to her heart beats, listening to her hiccups, listening to her wiggle around using the home Doppler.
• the 20 week scan, seeing her happy and healthy
• holding her for the first time. seeing her little blueberry face. having her in my arms.
• getting her to breastfeed so easily! she was a natural
• having her cuddling on me fast asleep.
• her first meals of real food when she really stuffed her face (thank god for baby led weaning)
• Tabitha's naming day
• the first time she slept through the night (i love spending time with my daughter, but sometimes i love her best when shes asleep)
• the first time she learned to sit up on her own
• her first steps!
• when she first said "dada"
• her first signs (she can now sign crocodile, frog, monkey, milk and orange)
• the first time she got really excited about a book
• the fact that she's started throwing tantrums...which I realize is odd to be happy about, but it shows she's growing and developing her own sense of self.
• there are a hell of a lot more...she makes me happy every day

Worst moments

• Every time i bled during the pregnancy.
• the birth....it really didn't go well, and that has continued to haunt me
• the first couple of weeks of no sleep and constant crying before i figured out that Tabitha needs constant food.
• stinky nappies (it wasn't so bad when she was just living on milk, but now she has a solid food diet...the stench!)
• when she breaks things (my laptop is now missing 3 keys)
• when she gets poorly...its so hard watching her be ill, especially when i can't do anything to help.
• I can't even go the toilet in peace any more!
• the fear in the night, which I still get every night...that I'll wake up and her heart will have stopped beating...
• the uncertainty. you are bombarded with so much different information about how to be a good parent, about where your baby should be in their development...and its very easy to become afraid because of it.
• realizing my body is now stretched and marked and won't ever get much better again.

But the good far far out weighs the bad and I have a happy, healthy, lovely little baby girl who lights up the world around her.

I can't wait for the next chapter of our lives. we are looking at buying a house (thanks so much Mum and Coyote's sister!!!) and then we'll get married!