there is no worse vice than advice.

8 months (ish)

Since I was pregnant I have been signed up to a NHS email thing, basically giving advice and information through the pregnancy and beyond. This has, for the most part, been really interesting and helpful. It was lovely getting weekly information about how big she was growing inside me and what new thing had developed....But I have now started to find the advice from this and from other government sources increasingly unhelpful.

For example...

• For their teeth health and hygiene: You must never give them sweets or let them drink anything with sugar in it, including fruit juice, ever.  

What? Never?!? Not even the occasional glass of orange juice? You must never give your child sweets until they turn 18? (and presumably go on a massive sugar binge) it's just not realistic or reasonable, which makes it unhelpful. I would be much more helpful to be told something like..."if you do give them sweets brush their teeth afterwards" or "try to avoid sweet things for a couple of days after their teeth have erupted because the enamel will still be soft" (I don't actually know if that one is true) or "if you give them fruit juice, give it to them in a proper cup, not a sippy cup". Because I am sure some parents will manage the "Never ever" advice...but I'm not sure I want to be that restrictive. And quite frankly fruit juice is a great source of vitamins and is tasty and I don't want to deny my child that.

• For their food: They should be eating at least 3 portions of carbohydrates every day. and 5 fruit or veg. But you mustn't overfeed them either. Oh, and no junk food ever (especially nothing with high salt or sugar content)

At Tabitha's age, she is only eating 3-5 mouthfuls of food per meal. Trying to force 3 carbohydrates and 5 portions of fruit and veg in a day while not over feeding her is bloody difficult. And most days we simply don't manage it. Which makes you want to give up and not try, and I'm a parent who is very focused on my child's well-being and doesn't have 3 other kids or a 9-5 job to worry about. And again with the "Never ever" advice on junk food. Obviously its good to avoid most of the time. But you need some sense of perspective on it. Is chips once a week probably OK? is a couple of mouthfuls of pizza more or less bad than a mouthful of chocolate cake? You are meant to avoid anything with salt over '0.5 grams' but is a nibble of something at '0.8 grams' alright if its less than once a day? In the baby led weaning book it says that as long as you are giving your child healthy food 80% of the time, you are probably fine, which is much more helpful and realistic.

• For their activities: Don't let your child watch TV, read to them instead.

What? all day? every day? I love reading to Tabitha. and we read a lot of books together. but i can't do it all the time. i want a couple of minutes to drink a cup of coffee or check my emails. Tabitha loves sitting at my feet playing with toys and occasionally looking up at whats on TV. Does that count as playing? or does it count as TV watching? Tabitha and Coyote like cuddling up and watching 'Doctor Who' together. i can't imagine that's a bad thing. I know they can't recommend specific programs, but some advice on what kinds of programs might be good for her to watch in moderation, would be much more helpful (like, should you be aiming for programs with a varied vocabulary and a story element, or is simple images and basic words better at Tabitha's age?) especially if they also gave advice on other fun activities to do together. Like swimming, or painting (with non-toxic or edible paint) or singing songs with signs...books are really great, but there are other good things to do, and TV isn't the great Satan, it just needs moderation like everything else.

More realistic, more helpful advice please!!!

(Tabitha really loves this brown packing paper, she loves kicking and scrunching it)